Sunday, October 31, 2004

ahhhh i had subway last night, and it was heavenly! finally, my craving has been satiated... for the tahm being.

during the exam season, students like to go around to different places to study together as a group. some prefer staying at home, while others like Starer visit the airport staff canteen everyday. no matter where it may be, one is bound to have found a favourite spot - a mugging haven to pull you through this arduous period of tahm. you love the place. you tend to concentrate better when you're there. you go there everyday. you eat their food like it's your staple.

and you start to know the aunties working there.

isn't it wonderful? to go to the counter and shout "auntieeee." as she hurries up to you and asks you if you would like the usual. you have become a regular and faithful customer of the shop and you start to make conversation with the auntie. before you know it, you start getting extra portions of food for the same price, or certain types of perks that can come in many forms. extra sauces? extra coupons?

but nothing can beat the perks that my friends and i have received at a certain macdonald's in singapore.

i hereby declare auntie Irene Tan THE MODEL MAC EMPLOYEE OF THE DECADE.

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2:02 AM

Thursday, October 28, 2004

i haven't eaten subway since.. i last ate subway.. ok not funny.

22nd october... that's.. *counts* -- 5 subway-less days?? haiyoh cannot cannot...

heng i'm eating on friday.. i'll just have to pull thru tmr.

subway.... deng wo!! wo lai le....~

1:43 PM

Saturday, October 23, 2004

:: The Yeastside Story ::

once upon a tahm, there lived a girl called jean, in block xxx, tampines st xx. she had been living there since she was 8, but she had never been aware of the existence of a humble little eatery a comfortable 7 mins walk away from her house.

SUBWAY.

one fateful day, tomodachi leslie suggested that they visit subway for a mugging session. she was skeptical at first. sure, she'd heard of the sandwich chain with the motto "eat fresh". or in adrian's case, "the fresh food people" because he confused it with cold storage's slogan. haha. but let's not digress.

being her first tahm there, she was honestly impressed with the clean and cosy interiors of the shop face. the shop also had friendly aunties in green who allowed them to stay there for the whole day. the best thing is, the place didn't have many people and even if it was filled it wouldn't be crowded cos it's so damn small.

after some studying, it was tahm for lunch. jean looked at the menu above the counter with interest. the sandwiches were of gigantic proportions and came in all sorts of confusing flavours. there were different kinds of bread, filling, sauces, and u can even pick your fave vegetables for the sandwich. what versatility indeed.

they ordered a FOOT LONG steak & cheese sandwich. more like desertwich, considering its size. however, unperturbed by it's garguantuan magnitude (running out of ways to say BIG) she opened her mouth as wide as she would at a dentist and took her first bite into a subway sandwich.

*heavenly e-flat major triad chord plays among the silver clouds* (e-flat major because that's the key where all 4 sections sound the brightest. i.e. the optimum range for voice projection.) but i digressed again.

jean fell in love with subway immediately. since then, she has patronised the store 9 tahms. she knows because the stamps she collected helps her keep track of her attendence. today she and tomodachi leslie redeemed their first free foot long sub. it was called "subway melt" and it had cheese, two types of ham, bacon, southwest sauce, veggie all kiap-ed into a loaf of (not our favourite) honey oat bread.

jean and tomodachi leslie always exit the shop smelling like yeast, but it only serves as a reminder of the good 'ol subs they've had for 9 meals and how this place has been a mugging haven to help pull them through the gruelling preparation procedures prior to the A level examinations.

SUBWAY, YOU ROCK MY WORLD!

:: I feel yeasty ::

i feel yeasty, oh so yeasty,
i feel yeasty, and happy, and fulllll
and i pity, anyone who smells like me today.

but i'm happy, oh so happy,
but i'm happy and gay that i ateeee
ate at subway
the sandwich that chase my troubles awayyy.

(thought of this entry while peeing at tampines sports complex toilet. don't ask.)

2:00 PM

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

i can feed on subway for aaaaaall eternity.....

11:32 AM

Monday, October 18, 2004

being a hotmail user, i get more spam mails than there are stars in the sky. one of the most popular subject i see in my junkmail folder is

"Enlarge your penis."

why?? what's so desirable about a large penis? if your partner has a small hole, what's the point? it will only hurt her what.. er.. or him..

and it's so ugly to have something bulging out when you walk, as if you have a perpetual erection. even ben stiller liked to inflate the crotch compartment of his silver spandex suit in Dodgeball. with air. i think his skull is filled with the same content.

from what i understand, the idea of a large penis is referring more to its length than its girth. it's so troublesome lor.. having to try to contain it in your briefs.. and still have to arrange it around so that it can fit behind your fly. and if it so unfortunately gets caught in the zipper, God help you la.

is it worth it to put up with the daily inconveniences of life so that you can become what you PERCIEVE to be "more desirable"? some men may think with their d*cks (buy a vowel) but i sure hope that there are many more whose ego do not depend on the magnitude of their privates..

by the way, do condoms come in sizes? just curious...

4:16 AM

Saturday, October 16, 2004

it's been so long since i blogged, i almost don't remember how to post an entry anymore..

well, it's the last official day of school.. i feel liberated! we took so many photos as a class.. too bad i don't have any of them..

we all gathered very early at the audi.. early enough to see umbrella man run in with a skirt.. he got busted though.. the teachers were standing by outside the toilet, and he had to sit next to the DM throughout the whole event. the school is no fun leh, not encouraging creativity..

then it was the farewell assembly.. the principal gave this ultra boring speech with cheesy quotes and the SCHOOL CORE VALUES. my goodness, talk about a generation gap! who cares anyway? she must have been too dense to notice the very LOUD groans coming from the audience, and happily went on to show us some nonsense things about character-building..

fortunately, the assembly took a turn for the better when they started showing montages.. photo after photo after photo.. (heng i'm not inside..) and then they showed some tributes and words of encouragement from the teachers. even the photocopying shop ladies. *applause* then came recorded videos. even from the chicken rice stall uncle and auntie *applause again*. they thanked us for eating their chicken rice and wished us all the best for our A lvs.

then some teachers put up performances for us. very nice! mr yellow-is-my-favourite-colour chew played the flute and we sang along to "if we hold on together".. awww.. i nearly teared.. and then mr ho came up to sing two songs. but being a cheenah teacher, his "flying without wings" had a cheenah tinge to it.. still, it was good. and yes, HE IS BETTER THAN JERRY ONG.

and then the ultimate.

DRAG SHOW.

simon reynolds came out in a blonde wig and silver midriff-bearing top and a skirt with a hem riding all the way up to his pelvis. he had metallic green acryllic nails and glittery gold eyeshadow and fake lashes. he left no detail to chance indeed. with his two posse in black shades and tight black tees, they sashayed off-rhythm to "oops, i did it again." and the audi was in uproar. i screamed till i went hoarse.. they got a standing ovation of course..

which makes me wonder: if reynolds can go drag all the way, why can't umbrella man wear a skirt?

there was buffet downstairs and i help myself to the heavenly mutton curry and sweet and sour fish fillet.. Stamford catering one lah.. very nice.. heh.

<< warning: this part very soppy >>

so.. it's officially the last day of school, and.. these two years have gone by in a flash.. i was told that it would, but i didn't know it was gonna be THAT fast..

although my JC days were not my happiest, i must say that it has been the phase of my life with the most life-changing experiences.. esp with the choir.. the practices, the concerts, the ACHIEVEMENTS, the tears, the happiness, the conflicts, the gossips, BP hotdog, siglap, my term as SC.. these experiences all squeezed themselves in in two years, and it has been a roller coaster ride indeed..

JC life was also a time of many firsts.... first orientation, first lecture, first tutorial, first time wearing contacts, first SYF finals (and the only), first time in esplanade, first singing competition, first relationship, first time taking my studies seriously, even the first time i shave my legs... so many things that i have tried for the first time. and these past experiences have helped me become a stronger person..

i've made many friends. few that i can say are close, but many nonetheless. they have allowed me to know myself better in one way or another. some made me like myself more, and some, less. 10 years down the road, i know there are some whom i will still keep in touch with. others.. well, i wish them all the best, wherever life takes them..

as KT puts it very lamely, and geographically, "May happiness be part and parcel of the equinoxes and solstices of your lives."

and as an anti-climax, i would also like to quote mrs loh....

"YOU CAN."

bah.

6:29 AM

Monday, October 11, 2004

Somebody: So, Jean, what's going on in your life?

Me: What's going on?! How much time ya got? I'm studying for my A levels...

[Beat]

Me: Hmm.. that didn't take as much time as i thought...

2:25 PM

Saturday, October 09, 2004

http://www.iloveegg.com/winopen_ani/eggsong.htm

:: Egg Song ::

Eggs! Get your eggs here!

Fresh and white eggs are here!

Wiggle jiggle, yellow middle,

that's the best of what you are!

(I love you egg!)

White and tender, surround the center

Cosy, sitting in the crackling shell!

(I love you!)

Vitamins and minerals in you,

poodles of the proteins too

(oodle doodle)

Popular and perfect and,

so complete in every way!

(I love you egg, egg!)

Come into my tummy,

oh so very yummy,

crack, crack, crack!

Chip a chip away your shell and

come to me!

(Get your eggs!)

I love you (fresh egg!)

I love you (white egg!)

Really really love you so!

(eggs fresh, fresh egg!)

Eggs i really love you

like the sky above!

(eggs are the best!)

I love you (fresh egg!)

I love you (white egg!)

Really really love you so!

(eggs fresh, fresh egg!)

Three hundred and sixty five days,

I really love you so!

(Mmm, yummy!)

DUMB.

9:48 AM

Thursday, October 07, 2004

wheeeeee! i'm so happy! i had a blast at the AI concert last night!

wait. now i'm sad. bcos it's over...

it was a star-studded night to say the least.. seeing both the local and american idols.. oh gosh they really put the local idols to shame.. i hope jerry ong is somewhere digging a hole in a playground ready to bury his head in..

wait.. they changed all the playgrounds' sand into rubber already.

ok.. in a swamp. sungei buloh. according to my geographical knowledge mud is deoxygenised bcos it practically has zero porosity. sounds perfect for someone to bury his head in. now, allow me to walk you thru my whole Idol experience!

:: Pre-concert ::

met leslie at around 540 to have dinner. settled with Mos, where we ate teriyaki burger with chao-tah meat.. oh all the carcinogens.. i hope i don't get cancer..

we finished our dinner and willed-&-graced, which is a must for every meeting we have. took the mrt to kallang and the w&g only stopped when... oh wait, it didn't stop.

arrived at indoor stadium after a loooong walk, but still reached quite early.. damn they confiscated my plain water leh! i brought it from home lor.. to sooth my throat for all the screaming and cheering.. security was so tight..

went in and was greeted with 7-11 staff bugging us to buy drinks. (oh oh oh so that's why they confiscated my harmless Just Tea water bottle) there was this woman there shouting "donut!" and "feesh burger!" which i could hear from the toilet (which was quite far away). if it hadn't been for jessea and beverly standing a few feet away from me (YES you read that right! so excited! so pretty!!!) i would've gone in straight away. leslie and i stood rooted there like some goofs staring at the two of them.. and we followed them in..

sat in our seats for awhile.. and then the other SI people streamed in.. with cameras following them and ang mor kids running up to them for autographs. a little boy shouted "he signed on my ten dollar bill!" talk about value-added-ness.. that bill will probably be worth more than it's actual value now..

:: Concert ::

and the concert began!! the indonesian idol kicked off the evening with her opening act. she's gooooood! ok lah bcos they have a large population.. or maybe some people were so tired of choosing between megawati and bambang that they have decided to vote for a star.

and JPL came out! so cute! he was the only one who came down the stage into the audience area.. so cute! and the other idols subsequently came out one by one to sing solo.

and then the moment came.

FANTASIA!!! leslie and i stood up when she appeared on stage. she sang...

SUMMERTIME.

i went berserk. some ang mor latecomers next to us stared at me. ask them go and die. they came to the concert and just sat there like they were watching opera. come on lah you're at a GIG. they looked russian. just bcos you're born with a straight face in a communist country with winter 365 days a year, doesn't warrant you to stare at happy me with a disdain look. bah.

after that they came out in rotated groups to sing songs in perfect harmony.. gosh their movements were so in sync and when george and jenny sang a duet, their harmony had overtones lehhh.. zui gao jing jie i tell you!

they've really improved alot and come a long way.. esp jasmine.. she's grown alot more powerful and her pitching is so much better now.. at certain moments i couldn't tell if it was her or diana singing!

speaking of diana, she was speaking so loudly i had to cover my ears.. uncouth leh! and somewhere through the show the "i love diana" banner across the hall disappeared. haha! traumatising. we should take the mic away from her.

jenny was hitting inhuman notes effortlessly lah. i was in awe. she's a walking pair of lungs with afro. latoya too, less the afro.

and jasmine sang "if i ain't got you" and it was really very nice!! she did the piano intro on her own.. she rocks~ i love all of 'em.

i've always dreamed of waving my arms to the chorus of "i believe", and my dream came true last night.. "i can see it in the stars across the skyyyyy" *waves* my bobo rocks. yay!

the concert ended with "ain't no mountain high enough". the show was awesome! they really brought the house down.. and i walked out of the stadium feeling lost and disoriented.

:: Post-concert ::

walked that looong way back to the mrt. couldn't find glenn, though he went too. darn they didn't sell any memorablia. i wanted to buy something.. a strand of fantasia's hair or a tube of her used lip gloss would be nice.. i'm sure she has a lot of those.. i bet she exhausts at least two tubes at every performance. one for the upper lip and one for the lower. if everyone had lips like hers, companies like maybelline would be reaping double the revenue they earn today.

nothing much happened after that. and now it's tahm to watch new episodes of w&g.

i bet this entry sounded so boring.. but i can't use words to describe the exhiliration. it almost felt surreal.. you really should've been there.. =)

7:42 AM

Sunday, October 03, 2004

u all shud check out leslie's blogz lehz. the person horz, talks likes dis de.. den her argeument quite stoopidz. wateva lahz.

heeZ.

i'm glad i stayed at home today.. i thought i would be sad that i had no one to go out with, but i managed to study quite alot. had a pretty eventful day lah. spilled half a bowl of hor fun on the floor. it was all over the place and i had to mop and mop and mop. but spilling it was a blessing in disguise.. when it was on the floor i could smell it's sourness cos it was overnight food.. luckily i didn't get to eat it, or i may just head straight for the big white bowl in the toilet. (i.e. toilet bowl) <<< 4 dat gerz if she is reading dis lahz.

going to serene's place to model for her jewellery. hope she gets good grades for her art! and most importantly, hope i look real good ah! haha.. sounds so fun.. modelling for something. to put it really nicely, i'm helping serene premiere her jewellery line.

made of felt and thread.

in her house.

with no one else around...

to see me model.

ok lah so it doesn't sound that glamorous.. but heck. it's gonna be fun!

12:34 PM

Saturday, October 02, 2004

what a rotten day...

evil exists when good men do nothing.. about singapore idol.. i mean.. JESSEA? i am so sad..... =(

she can do better.. she doesn't have to subject herself to such humiliation from this degrading show that will never ever work in singapore because of our small and passive population. anyone who is just slightly more enthusiastic in voting can bring the idol of their hearts to great heights (i.e. jerry ong and his church posse)

i know it's wrong to criticise a fellow brother and.. darn.. even a whole church of them.. but.. it's not their fault.. it's just the way things work here.. this show has been over-ambitious from the start.. the voting system just doesn't work.. why not leave it to the judges instead.. their opinions are really credible and make alot more sense. (i.e. anyone who thinks jerry can't sing makes sense lah)

OH THE INJUSTICE. honey? what's going on?

it's not just bcos of spore idol... huo bu dan xing remember? but that's a small matter.. shan't dwell on it.. =(

and by the way.. Happy Childrens' Day.

which brings me to my next topic lah.. was waiting for bus 10 to bring me to siglap gelare today and it took ages to come, so i started pondering about the significance of childrens' day.. we often tease our friends by wishing them happy childrens' day on the very basis that it no longer applies to them, or ourselves. but.. i think it still does.. childrens' day is not just for children (that's kinda oxymoron). it's also a day for non-children to celebrate the gift of children to the world!

APART FROM BRATS IN HEELEYS, i'd like to commend on children for injecting a sense of vibrance and innocence to the society. esp societies like Iraq. they only know how to behead people, bomb people, and play soccer. (olympics finalists? somebody correct me if i'm wrong??)

childrens' day is also an oppurtunity for us to celebrate the kid in all of us.. mine still surfaces pretty often, and i'd like it to stay that way.. there's half an hour left before childrens' day is over, so hurry up and shout to that kid inside you and make it happy just for today!

2:30 PM

Friday, October 01, 2004

SHAVE YOUR LEGS. it's the most liberating thing that's going to happen to you since monks started going bald.

that is unless you're already shaving regularly of if you're a straight guy..........

ok... that's.... almost everyone.....

well, i got my B for geog, and i'm H A P P I E !! i'm even happier that sahlan really entertained us during lecture today.. somehow his "proletariate" turned into "potteries" bcos he chose the suggested spelling on Word. muahahaha. and he said "bourgeoisie" like a thousand tahms.. as many tahms as grace said "beddah him than me."

so... BCC... i know it's not impressive but i think that 3As of mine don't seem too far away now......... they're coming next march.

1:37 PM